Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What's my purpose?

God's journey for me
    I look back at life now and realize everything happens for a reason.  I've realized we may not like what has happened but we have no remote control over it in reality.  We are all on a set path with many unexpected twists and turns.  We have no real way of nowing where we're headed or how life is going to turn out.  We may think we do but we really don't.  I say now that I'm going to be a chiropractor and attend UNO but something may happen to where I have to take a year off or I just don't like the idea of being a chiropractor.  My chiropractor and I always joked about me taking over his business some day.  I still have yet to figure out whether he's serious or not.  In someways, I sure hope he was but in others I kind of don't want to come back to small town Aurora, Nebraska.  I'm not saying I don't love it here but I want to find a place where it really feels like home.  And I don't feel it's home here.  My purpose, I feel, is to let this journey of life take me where it may and help me understand myself. 
    I have hopes and dreams, yes, but I know that they all aren't going to come true.  I just want to be happy in the end of my life.  I want to be one of those people when I'm old that can say they have no regrets with how their life turned out.  I know if I just live my life the way I want to live it I won't have any regrets.  I know my purpose is to make something of myself, at least in my parents eyes.  Which I fully intend to do.  I plan to attend UNO and then go on to chiropractic school at Palmer in Davenport.  But you never know I may change my career path back to wanting to be a dentist... doubtful.  I only say that because I'm pretty set in stone in what I want to do with my life.  When I told my mom I decided I'd rather be a chiropractor, she didn't believe me for a second.  I then proceeded to tell her that every time I even see a little blood I instantly get nauseous.  So, all in all, I'm not about to be a dentist.  Nope, not gonna happen.  Can't do it.  She luckily didn't try and convince me otherwise.  Phew!
     My purpose is just something I don't really know how to explain.  It's like it's my unknown future.  What do I hope is my future?  I hope to be a wonderful, understanding mom.  A wife who does unexpected things for her husband that loves her with all his heart.  I want to be doing something I extremely love with my life.  I'll discover all these things in the next chapter of my life which is college.  Yes, if I have any real say in what happens in my life these will all go my way.  But, not everything in life goes YOUR way.  You may be taking some detours based on the judgement of your parents, your adjusted judgement, or God's judgement.  I just know I'm not going to sit back and complain how my life is going if it's the way God wants it to be.
    Purpose itself can be defined differently by everyone.  Some people define it is as current, others as future, or some may even say it's whatever.  I say it's the plan God has instilled for us that we have no idea how it's going to end up.  I've really started believing in God's plan after Jager left and went up to God's home.  I looked too far into the future and wished for too much.  This is why I had such a hard time with Jager's passing.  I had so much planned that I could've never known would actually happen.  I hit rock bottom in all honesty.  My world was shattered.  I had came to the conclusion that life was never going to get better. After, I went on my mission trip to Minnesota, I came to terms with Jager's death and built up my relationship with God. I have broaden my horizons and accepted life for how it comes

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Where Am I?

I Am Where I Am

     I am WHERE everyone in this class is... good ol' Aurora, Nebraska.  I am WHERE I want to be.  I am in Aurora High School.  I am on Lagerville Drive and also on South 13th Street. I am in the United States.  I am everywhere but at the same time in one spot all together.  I have those special places that mean a lot to me but I have those places I just go to like anyone else.
     I am at my two houses.  One more than the other unfortunately.  I wish it was the same amount all the time.  I live with my mom on Lagerville in a small, white, and brick house.  I have the biggest room in the house.  It's a very cute house if you ask me.  I love how it has a very homey feeling to it.  I take over the living room every Wednesday night to watch the best show ever made, Duck Dynasty!  My room is WHERE I spend the majority of my time there.  It's a quaint little room with lots of pictures of my friends and family hanging up.  I love my room it's the best place for me to be when I'm upset or just need a place to be.  My other house is on South 13th Street clear across town from my mom's house.  It's a lot bigger than my mom's.  It's the house I have all my childhood memories in.  I've lived there since the second grade.  We've done a lot of renovating since we moved in.  I love everything about this house.  I don't sleep in my room though because the new bed in there is way too uncomfortable. 
    I am located at Aurora or Aurora Public Schools.  I've been going to this school for my entire life. I wouldn't have wanted to go anywhere else!  I love the atmosphere the school gives off and the high expectation we as students are held to.  I've lived for Friday night football games.  I have loved watching our team excel and show everyone what they are made of.  Coach Huebert serves as such an inspiration to everyone here at AHS.  He has my respect.  I love being involved and no one judges you at your abilities.  Aurora High School is one of the most respected school in the state.  Why?  We are always told to represnt our school with class.  This is what we do to gain our respect.
     I am at Subway.  I am there at least three days a week sometimes more.  My boss, Julie, favors me.  I'm not joking either.  She tells me this all the time.  Oops... I appreciate her willingness to be flexible with my so very busy schedule.  She is one of the people in this world I respect without any problem.  I love my job.  I love the people I work with, with the exception of one or two people.  It's probably one of the easiest jobs ever.
     I am at UNO in August.  I've never wanted something to come more than August.  I want to go to Omaha and experience a new atmosphere.  I want to make new friends. Maybe, fall in love. :)  I just want to see if what the college life is all about. I'm ready to challenge myself with double majoring.  I want to discover myself as a person with no questions asked.  I'm even more exciting to then go on to Davenport, Iowa to Palmer chiropractic school!
      This is me and where I am.  Who knows my life may take a random turn.  I may end up in Chadron... just kidding that would never happen that's way to far away!  I just know I'm in the hands of God and he knows where I'm headed with life.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Who Am I?

I Am Who I Am

     Who am I? I am a seventeen-year-old with goals set beyond high. I plan on attending the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I will double major in Biology and Spanish.  I, then, plan on going on to chiropractic school at Palmer in Davenport, Iowa. I am currently a high school senior at Aurora High.  I know some people think that I'm not being realistic with double majoring, but I have a Hispanic background therefore, I feel that I owe it to my family to want to know more about my grandmother's home country.
    I'll give you a basic low down on who I really am. I have one sister named Abigail Marie Collingham.  She is, in so many ways, my best friend.  We tell each other everything.  We fight like all sisters do but I know, know matter what that she'll always be there for me, and I'll always be there for her, through thick and thin.  I know she is really going to struggle next year without me.  I'll miss her like crazy for sure!  My parents are divorced.  They really don't like each other.  Oh well, God obviously has a better plan for both of them.  I'm not bitter about them not being together.  It's actually best this way. I'm in love with Batman! There's so many different reasons to as why I love him.  He's a superhero without any actual super powers! That's kind of a big deal!   
    If you had to ask me who my biggest inspiration in life was, I would tell you my Grandpa Mike.  My Grandpa Mike IS my best friend.  I go to him for absolutely everything.  He's a six foot three man with a heart of pure gold.  He has always encouraged me to do my absolute best.  He has never once discouraged me.  He has always pushed for me to improve whether that was in softball or school. 
    I've always struggled with losing people close to me. "See You When I See You" by Jason Aldean has always spoke to me.  It's telling me that I will see those people I've lost in life sooner rather than later.  I know with losing Jager, I felt like my whole entire world ended, or when Jacob passed, I felt as if everything was just going to extremely different.  But, in reality, nothing is as different as it seemed it was going to be. Yes, things are very much different but not like you would expect them to be.  We all have different ways of coping with these losses.  I know I've turned to my love for life.  I treasure life more now than I ever have before.  You learn life is short, some people's lives are shorter than others.
    My favorites are very me, I guess you could say.  My favorite color is purple. My favorite baseball team is clearly the Chicago Cubs.  I love LSU.  Tigers are the best animal around.  The Boston Celtics are the  The Carolina Panthers may be absolutely terrible on the field but they rock in my heart.  "Remember the Titans" is by far my favorite movie ever.  I'm completely and totally in love with Nickelback.   "I Knew You Were Trouble" by T-Swizzle just screams I know your life better than you do. 
   In high school, I've participated in softball and wrestling.  I played varsity all four years in softball.  I'm going to miss all the friends I made.  I wish the best for the team in the future.  But most of all I'm going to miss all the good times I had with my two best friends, Jordyn and Hannah.  I am in currently in my fourth year as the varsity stats girl for the wrestling team.  I'm love this job more than anything.  I love getting to know our boys.  They all have such unique personalities but have such similar qualities at the exact same time.  It's bittersweet knowing this year is my last year with my boys.  Yes, they are my boys.  I've been with them since freshman year.  Through their ups and downs.  I'm going to miss every single one of them. They have taught me so much in a way and I appreciate them more than anything for that. 
      I'm a really outgoing person.  I can be shy but otherwise once I get to know you I have no problem talking to you.  I'm not afraid to make friends but I hate losing good friends I've had for a really long time.  I'm very protective over those I care about it.  I would do anything for them.  I hate to see them mad or sad.  I want my friends to be happy in a great atmosphere.  I will live my life being nothing but myself and that's all I have to say about that.

Who am I song